In 2002, my bride and I took our 25th wedding anniversary trip to Hawaii. There, we concluded some family “strategic planning” of sorts and one of the outcomes was that we would give up the monthly payments we were making for cable television. We determined that she was watching too much American Movie Classics and I was watching way too much Food Network.
So, a few days after our return, I called up the technician (July 11, 2002) and ordered the disconnect. And, we broke the news to the children (much to their disdain) that this was a happening thing.
It took a few days for them to show up at the house, but on July 15th, I was cleaning up in the kitchen (yes, the clean-up is a huge part of cooking that you never see on Food Network) and I saw the technician go over to the side of the house with the cable box. This was perfect because our youngest, Tim, was watching Cartoon Network downstairs and Billy was upstairs locked in to his favorite, the Weather Channel. After a few seconds, there was a loud and simultaneous stereophonic “NOOOOOOOOOO” from both boys when they realized what had happened.
Now, my oldest informs me every August how many Air Force football games are going to be on cable. We’ve moved and have the neighborhood Comcast box on the property and both they and Dish Network know I’m not on any service. I loathe what CenturyLink charges me for their rinky-dink bandwidth so I can communicate with you in this way. I’m trying to figure out what to do about that.
Then several years ago, there was that switch from analog to digital signals and we had to replace all of the rabbit ears at each TV in the house to digital versions with signal boosters. No problem—we did that.
When I teach classes, we talk about this. They may think me the Neanderthal, but what have I truly missed? The rise of MSNBC and Rachel Maddow? All of the political commentary on ESPN? There’s a weather channel app that always works better than the TV station. And I know you call it HBO but that porn site never infiltrates my living room or invades my brain.
You see, there’s someone out there like me. Which means you could do it to. In this age of post-truth rebellion, why not join me and give up cable? You’ll enjoy life a lot more. But, really, why should you? Why did I give up cable? The answer is easy.
I pay to have my trash taken out of the house.